How do you be content without becoming complacent?
This is something I have struggled with for years.
I want to be content. I want to appreciate and be thankful for the things I have. I don’t want to stir up frustration and dissatisfaction within me by always wanting more, bigger, better, and nicer. This is true whether the wanting is for things, activities, relationships, or roles.
At the same time, I don’t want to be lazy. I don’t want to settle for mediocrity. In many ways, I want to push and test myself to see what I can do and who I can be.
How can I be content without becoming complacent?
{Sigh}
I don’t know.
Here are some things that I am trying, some positive (do) and some negative (don’t do), that might help:
Being thankful. Gratitude is the foundation for contentment. Reminding myself of all the reasons I have to be thankful will help build that foundation.
Focusing on process over outcomes, effort over results. The effort is, hopefully, leading closer to the desired outcomes, but there can be great satisfaction in the effort itself. I am learning to love the process.
Striving for excellence. This is closely related to the previous idea. Striving for excellence doesn’t need to mean more. It doesn’t need to mean winning. It means improving. And that can be a very personal measurement, not a comparative one. I can learn to love the process and, within the process, I can love progress over perfection.
Holding loosely to goals and results. I am least confident about this idea. Goals are important. I have several, both short-term and long-term. I want to achieve them. At the same time, if I am reaching for big goals, I won’t always accomplish them. I want to be comfortable trying and failing. I would rather try and fail than not try. However, I don’t want to give myself an “out” at the beginning of the process by saying it is OK to fail. Does that make sense? I am still working on this one.
Limiting my exposure to advertising. I am using the term “advertising” in both the traditional sense and in the general sense of any messaging meant to influence my desires. Billions are spent on it. Incredibly intelligent, creative people create it. I would be naive to think that I am smart enough or strong enough not to be influenced by it. I have a strong enough internal struggle with discontentment, greed, and consumerism. I don’t need additional help in wanting more. I can’t avoid it, but I can limit my exposure.
Choosing who I hang out with. As with many things, our community has an incredible influence on us. Am I hanging around people who are content? I want to spend time with people who are examples of who I want to become.
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Thank you!
Great read! This is something I certainly deal with. The balance of being content vs drive. Be both, but it is a balancing act. I find myself falling into the struggle and stress of trying to achieve the next big thing, and then the pendulum swings back to complacency. I personally give thanks everyday for the many blessings I have, but then ask for guidance on where to go next. The waiting and listening is hard, but has really helped me with balancing the two extremes I can swing between.