scott stonehouse

I did a presentation to a company recently on “Communicating with Confidence”. The most important tip to increase confidence that I shared was to Shift the Spotlight.

The Spotlight Effect is when people think that everyone is looking at them, thinking about them, critiquing them. The spotlight is shining directly on them and everyone is staring.

Understandably, this would create anxiety is most people.

However, the truth is that most people are not looking at them, thinking about them, or critiquing them.

Most people are thinking about themselves.

Even in conversations with others, we are often thinking about what we will say next or even what we will have for lunch later. We aren’t actually thinking about them.

That is helpful to know, intellectually, but how do you use it to increase your confidence in communication with others?

By actively shifting the spotlight in your mind from yourself to the other person (or people).

And how does one do that?

By asking questions.

Ask questions about the other person and genuinely pay attention. Listen. Think about them.

Ask follow-up questions.

Become truly interested in them.

A couple of things will happen.

First, you won’t be as nervous because you won’t be thinking about yourself and what they might be thinking about you. You will be thinking about them.

Second, they will find you interesting (see previous post: To Be Interesting, Be Interested). They will find you interesting because you took an interest in them. You asked questions about them and listened. In an age of distraction, to give someone your full attention is a powerful way of showing care and respect.

Experiencing this will increase your confidence for the future.

The same principle applies when giving presentations, too, it just gets worked out a little differently.

While you are preparing the presentation, shift the spotlight in your mind by thinking about the audience and asking questions from their perspective.

What do they care about? What will interest them? What questions will they have?

Shifting the spotlight to the audience and their needs and desires will help you create a better presentation.

It will also help you deliver a better presentation. Rather than worrying about how you are performing and what people are thinking of you, focus on the audience.

Do they seem to be engaged? Do they seem to understand your points? Does anyone look like they have a question?

Shifting the spotlight to the audience will reduce your anxiety and help you feel more relaxed and engaged with the audience. This will gove you more confidence which makes for a better presentation experience.

If you want more confidence when communicating, whether in small social situations or during presentations, Shift the Spotlight.

P.S. Did you find this post helpful? If so, I have two quick requests:
— First, would you subscribe to the blog? It is an encouragement to me.
— Second, who is one person you think would also benefit from this post? Would you mind forwarding it to them?
Thank you!