scott stonehouse

Are you nervous in social situations? Do you get anxious because you don’t know what to say? Do you worry about what other people will think of you?

These fears often keep people from going out, meeting others, or engaging in groups.

There is a simple way to overcome this: Take the spotlight off of yourself and shine it on someone else.

If you want other people to find you interesting, be interested in them.

Ask questions about them.

Listen. Genuinely.

Although, initially, this might be a technique you use to help you get past your own nervousness, that doesn’t mean it is fake. It can be real.

Most people appreciate someone taking an interest in them.

Because it is rare.

Most people are thinking about themselves, distracted with their own concerns and worries.

Few people really listen.

Few people take a genuine interest in others.

By asking questions about them, you not only shift the spotlight from you to them (and relieve pressure from yourself), you not only learn a lot, but the other person will find you interesting. They will leave thinking that you were nice, kind, and interesting. All because you asked them questions and listened to them.

People receive attention as a form of kindness and love.

In a time when our attention is constantly bombarded and manipulated with technology, to genuinely give someone your undivided attention is a great gift.

It is a gift where the giver often gets more in return. People are truly fascinating. There is so much we don’t know about one another. We grew up in different parts of the world, had different family experiences, went to different schools, enjoy different hobbies, work different jobs, and have different hopes and fears.

Some of the people we talk to are world-class experts in subjects we know nothing about.

Some of the people we talk to have had crazy adventures that are hard to believe.

And almost everyone we talk to is dealing with some kind of struggle or burden we don’t know about.

With just a little bit of thought and care, most people will open up and share very personal things about themselves.

There is an endless amount of things to learn from talking to someone else if we will simply ask questions and listen.

And people will like you for doing it.

To Be Interesting, Be Interested.

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