scott stonehouse

Every morning when I am getting dressed, I put this coin in my pocket. “Memento Mori” means “Remember Death”. It is a reminder to me that I might not live through the day. Perhaps, I won’t even make it home. That is a sobering thought.

When my kids were little and at home, it would remind me to speak kindly to them and wife as I left the house. I didn’t want the last thing they heard me say to be, “Clean your rooms before I get home or else!” I didn’t want to leave with harsh words. I wanted to leave the house with kind, loving words.

My kids are older now. Two aren’t even at home. But it is still a helpful reminder to leave home well.

It is a helpful reminder with friends and coworkers, too. I don’t want to leave things unsaid. I don’t want to miss an opportunity to encourage someone or let them know how much they mean to me.

Far from being a morbid or depressing thing, remembering death helps me to try and be the kind of man I want to be.

There is a passage in the Psalms that says, “Teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” (Psalm 90:12, ESV)

Numbering our days, remembering that they are limited and that we don’t know how many we have, helps us make wiser decisions. At least, that is the hope.

Because the thing is, we are all going to die.

Sure, we believe that intellectually but no one believes they’re going to die today. Or this week. Or probably even this year. And yet, some of us will. And it might be me. Or you. I don’t know. And neither do you.

That is the whole point of the reminder. To consider that this might be our last day and to act accordingly.

What does that mean, practically? I don’t think it means that we quit our jobs and blow our retirement savings. You might do that if you knew it was your last day, but when it is just a possibility? I don’t think so. We could also live for another 30, 40, 50 years or more. Your job and retirement savings might come in handy if you do.

So, again, what does it mean, practically, to live as if it could be your last day? For me, it means focusing on how I treat other people. Am I kind? Loving? Helpful? Am I thinking about them or thinking about myself?

It also means trying to be present in the moment. To soak up and enjoy a good lunch with a good friend. To appreciate good music and sing along. To have fun with people. To notice the beauty around me. To have deep, meaningful conversations with people when possible.

In case my writing gives the impression that I do these things all the time, I do not. This is what I hope to do. This is what I try to do. Imperfectly. But I am trying because one of these days will be my last. I want to know that I tried to live well. My guess is you do, too.

Remember death. It will help.

(P.S. If you are interested in the coin itself, I bought it from Ryan Holliday’s Daily Stoic store here. This is not an affiliate link or anything. I just thought you would like to know where to get it.)